Only Sons Can Do
by dong-chun-mei
Summary: We all knew Kai's son, Gou, was going to be a curious little devil as a toddler. We just didn't know he was going to be this bad! Come see what adventures he, Rin, and Makoto get into. emplied KaiJulia RayMariah TysonHilary
1. Inspiration!

My friend Mercedes sent me this list in my e-mail the other day. It was just so hilarious, I almost killed myself laughing. I also go hit with this little brain lazer and just HAD to write it out. - The emplied pairings are KaiJulia, RayMariah and TysonHilary, just so you know.

This will be more a humour fic, but will focuss on fluffy family moments too. And once more, I don't own beyblade or the list used in this chapter, nor do I have a spell check, but I did my best. But if you still want to flame, I'll give you a hug, so you'll be lit on fire too!

Enjoy!

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Sighing, Julia Fernandez leaned over her desk after a very... VERY long day. Her three-year-old son and his pink-haired best friend lay sleeping a few feet away on her bed. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the twenty-one-year-old twisted her pen between her fingers, then tapped it against her paper. She needed an angle for her article in the magazine, but nothing was coming to her, and she was running out of time.

Her little boy rolled over in his sleep, cuddling closer to the petite girl beside him. She smirk as his tiny brows furrowed into a frown that could rival his father's. She watched the two sleeping toddlers for a few more minutes. The little girl squirmed in her sleep, kicking at the blankets until they fell on the floor.

Julia stood, scooped up the blanket, and placed it back over the duo, kissing both their temples as she did. It wouldn't hurt if she let them sleep here tonight. At this rate, she wouldn't be using the bed in the next few hours anyway...

Returning to her desk, she drummed her pen on the blank paper a few more times, then amused herself by blowing a piece of brown hair from her emerald eyes. Her part of the magazine was called _Family Ties... _Usually, she had no problems writing the damn thing, but this month, the creative juices just weren't flowing, no matter how much she tried to squeeze them out.

Another hour of complete blankness crawled by slowly... then, just as she was about to give up, an idea bunny hopped into her head, and started bouncing around in there until she began to write. For twenty straight minutes she wrote, not knowing where in the world this was taking her, or if she could even use it for the article.

With a sore wrist, she finally dropped her pen, and stared down at the fruits of her labour. What she had before her was a list of fifteen things with the title _**Only Sons Can Do**_ scribbled messily across the top of the page...

**Fifteen things I've discovered since my son was born...**

**1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square-foot house 4 inches deep.**

**2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies, and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. **

**3.) A 3-year-old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. **

**4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 32 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. **

**5.) You shouldn't throw baseballs up when a ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way, and the glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. **

**6.) When you hear the toilet flush, and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late. **

**7.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. **

**8.) A three-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a twenty-two-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. **

**9.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; feather pillows and teddy bears don't like ovens. **

**10.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. **

**11.) Super glue is FOREVER!!!! **

**12.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water, and pool filters don't like Jell-O anymore than the pillow loved that oven! **

**13.) VCR's don't eject 'PB & J' sandwiches... even though TV commercials show they do. **

**14.) Garbage bags don't make good parachutes, especially with the ratio of 3-to-1. That's three toddlers to one garbage bag... **

**15.) The spin cycle on the washing machine doesn't make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats have the ability of throwing up twice their body weight when dizzy.**

Julia stiffled a laugh as she re-read the list a few times, she could _definately_ use this for her article! Maybe some of her son's mishaps weren't as much trouble as she thought they were...

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I'm going to write out a story for each of the above points on the list, from Julia's P.O.V. They'll be like parts of her article... I hope lol!

Well review if you wanna...

Dong-Chun-Mei


	2. Adventure One: Sharp Pointy Objects

FIRST CHAPTER FINALLY!! YAY

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_**A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep...**_

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She _told_ Kai _not_ to buy that damn water bed... But does he ever listen to her? No! He goes and buys it anyway! Rubbing her temples, Julia Fernandez stared down at her three-year-old son, and her husband's best friend's daughter. Both looked up at her with equal looks of innocence on their faces, and tried to hide a Sharp Point Object behid each of their backs.

Dare she even try to find out how this happened? A little voice in the back of her head told her she was probably better off not knowing... Besides, right now she had a busted water bed, a house covered in water four inches deep, and two little demons trying to look cute to deal with.

Yeah, it was best to find out the logic behind this little mishap later... _very _later.

Trying to ignore her soaked stocking, Julia eyed the duo with a frown. 'Gou Susumu Fernandez-Hiwatari, what happened?!'

'The bed popded!!' Her blue-haired little boy exclaimed, rocking on his heels. 'Wight Rin?' His accompliss nodded vigerously, accendently dropping a fork when she did. It landed with a light plop in the water.

'Oop...' Rin blinked. Her soaked pink bangs fell over her golden eyed when she bent to pick it back up. Standing back up, she held it above her head, and smiled at Gou triumphantly. 'Gots it Gou!' It never occured to her she'd just given them both away...

The older of the two motioned for her to hide it again, which Rin did quickly. The two grinned at each other, forgetting Julia was there until she rolled her eyes, and held out her hand. 'Give them to me.'

The duo pouted, but did as they where told, laying a fork, and...

'Gou...'

'What mommy?'

'Where did you get these?'

'You room mommy!'

'Gou... These are my good earrings!'

'Pwetty!' Rin pipped in, her golden eyes shone brilliantly in the afternoon light. The two little trouble-makers stared at the pair of golden arrows hanging from Julia's finger. The earrings in question had been given to the young mother by her twin brother for her eighteenth birthday. They were very precious to her... and apparently very sharp.

Clasping the dangly earrings tightly in her first, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and counted to ten. The last thing she needed right now was to blow her top at two toddlers... No matter how horribly bad they were...

Then again, what could she expect from Kai Hiwatari's son?

A sploshing sound finally triggered Julia to open her emerald orbs again. Gou was kneeling in the water, splashing Rin. The pink-haired little girl giggled as she slapped her hands onto the water's surface, sending the liquid spraying in all directions. Sighing, Julia pocketed her earrings and the fork.

What the heck, if you could beat them, join them! Isn't that how the old saying went? Grinning, Julia lept into the water with her son, and his best friend. The splash from her entry completely soaked the mischievious duo, but she didn't care.

This was all Kai's falt anyway. He could clean up the mess when he got home!

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These aren't going to be that long.. Just because I don't want the to be! But I've decided to give this fic to Mikaera for her 28th birthday... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKA-NEE-CHAN!!!

Dong-Chun-Mei


	3. Adventure Two: Igniting Hallways

Well, here comes Adventure #2... Sorry for the wait! Enjoy!

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_**2.) If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite...**_

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'Gou!' Julia yelled after her three-year-old son as went wheeling down the hallway. 'Watch out for the-'

_BAM_

The two-toned brunette sighed. 'Nevermind... Are you okay Hunny?'

A pair of wiggling legs, followed by a muffled call was her responce. Very thankful Kai had paded both sides of the hallway before heading off to work, Julia yanked the little boy from the pile of pillows and stuffed animals he'd colided into.

Gou spit out a feather from his stuffed bird Mr. Fluffybutt when he finally had his head free. 'Leggo mommy!' He demanded urgently, wiggling in her grip. 'Leggo!'

Straightening his helment, she set him back on his feet, and gave him a light push back down the hallway. The little boy when tottering down the corridor just as the doorbell rang, trying to keep his new rollerblades under control. He quickly found out they didn't want to listen, and found himself rolling towards his parents' bedroom door. Julia squeezed her eyes shut as he crashed face first into the wood.

Her young son fell onto his bottom holding his nose. 'S'okay mommy!' He called before she had a chance to say anything. 'Me okay!!'

'Okay... Don't roll anywhere until I get back!' She shook her head, and went to answer the front door.

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Five minutes later found Julia helping Makoto shuffling through her kitchen on his own roller blades with Rin getting dragged behind them. The pink-haired toddler had laid flat on her stakeboard, and grapped the hem of Julia's skirt. Now, everytime Gou's mother took a step forward, she could hear wheels behind her, follow by a high-pitched giggle.

Oh... the joy of children...

When the trio finally made it back to the hallway, Gou was rolling uncontrollably towards them. His friends called to him, waving frantically. He returned the wave, and tripped on a stray Beanie Baby. Rolling her eyes, Julia picked up her son, made sure all three had their safety gear on right, gave them a push, and went to make lunch.

-

The fire-detector went off ten minutes later...

-

Scrambling like a chicken without its head, and completely covered in flower, Julia ran at top speed out of the kitchen. By this time, her entire house was full of smoke. That, however, was the last thing on her mind. Rounding the corner, she found the toddlers' hallway-turned-skatepark empty.

'Gou?! Rin?! Makoto?!' Fear clenched her chest when no answer came. _We're are they? We're are they?! _'GOU! MAKOTO! RIN!'

'Hehehee...'

Was that a giggle?

'Geehehehee...!'

That WAS a giggle!

'GOU! RIN! MAKOTO! GET OUT HERE NOW!' Slowly, three helmeted heads poked their way through her bedroom door. 'What did you three do this time?'

Grinning like his father, Makoto held a bottle of hairspray out for her to see. The other two friends giggled before bursting through the door, and shooting down the hallway as fast as they could get themselves going. Makoto followed, not wanting to be left behind. The floor sparked behind them, then ignited in a burst of flames.

Julia screamed, and fell backwards, landing in a pile of Webkins. The trio of friends landed on top of her, giggling and laughing. The young mother stared at the crackling floor. Grey smoke roze from it, setting the fire-dectors alight again. ''Ook mommy!' Gou yelled, darting across the floor again.

Julia went wide-eyed as Gou started rickety back towards her. She snatched her young son from the floor the moment he was in reach, and held him protectively against her chest.

'KA-BOOM.' Makoto cried, raising his hand in the air.

'BOOM!' Rin squealed, repeating what the older boy had said, and mimicing his actions. 'BOOM!'

It took a moment for Julia to regain her composure, and find her voice. 'What did you three do?!'

''Ariswpay mommy!' Gou squirmed in his mother's arms until he was kneeling on her legs.

'BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!' Little Rin exclaimed, jumping up and down beside Makoto who sprayed some of the hairspray onto the floor.

Julia was at a loss for words. 'You sprayed the floor?'

The little heads bobbled up and down.

'And then went across it?'

One again the trio mimiced bobble heads.

'And then...?'

'KA-BOOM!!!!!' They yelled, smiling and giggling.

These three were devil spawn without even realising it...

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'The floor was on fire!' Julia exclaimed later on that night as she and Kai got ready for bed. "I'm not crazy!!!'

'I know you aren't.'

'But how...? It was just hairspray... I don't understand... How did they...' She trailed off, flopping down on the matress.

Kai was silent for a moment as he settled in beside her, and covered then both with the blankets. 'When did you last sweep the hallway?'

The two-toned brunette stared at him before slowly turning a bright shade of red. 'About two weeks ago... But what does that have to do with the floor catching on fire?!'

'Dust bunnies.' Her boyfriend stated calmly. As if that explained anything!

'So I haven't swept in a while, I don't see how that-'

'When you create enough friction between dust bunnies, and the toxans found in hairspray, they can ignite.' He explained, kissing her goodnight.

She returned the kiss, trying to wrap her head around what he just explained. 'Are you serious?'

He simply nodded, and turned out the bedside lamb.

'Wait! How exactly do you know that?'

'Hn.' Was her only responce.

'KAI!'

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Sorry! I couldn't resist! It was all to perfect! I'll let your imaginations decide how Kai knew about that... ANYWAYS!

REVIEW PLEASE!!

Dong-Chun-Mei


	4. Adeenture Three: Ugly Loud Stuffed Birds

Okay! So here we go, onto Adventure #3! Yay I'm hoping to finish this story before summer... a9yea right)I guess we'll see, won't we? XD Someone wanted one of the chapters done from Kai's P.O.V... But I'm evil when it comes to requests... So yeah.. my muse didn't exactly go that way...

Well you know the drill and please enjoy. Keep in mind this is a birthday story for Mikaera, so send her a PM wishing her a happy, really REALLY belated 18th birthday! And remember to Enjoy!

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_A Three-year-old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant..._

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Sometimes, Kai wondered if maybe Julia'd been hit in the head with Mr. Fluffybutt one time too many. Then remembers their son is the reason the stuffed bird and Julia's head every got aquainted, and sighs. 

Said weirdly named stuffed plushie was currently wedged between his three-year-old's legs with an old baby bib tied rather tightly around its stuffed neck. Julia had busied herself reading the resturaunt's menu to their young son who sat quietly, listening to every word she said with such a serious look on his tiny face, it was all Kai could do to keep a straight face.

'So, do you know what you want Sweetheart?' It had been her idea to have a family outing. A walk through the park,supper at a fancy resturaunt, and a movie. It had been too long since they'd had a chance to spend any quality time together like this.

Kai had a feeling Julia missed it, even if she was to stubborn to say anything. It was just supposed to be the three of them, but of course, Mr. Fluffybutt had to come too... He was important after all...

Gou frowned, and crossed his arms, squashing the bright, lime green duck against his stomach. He's little mouth set into a grim line as he thought deeply. Kai glared at the stuffed animal in his son's arms. For the love of all things purple!

(Well... Green this time...An ugly... Lime Green... at that...)

The damn thing wouldn't stop staring at him! It had been a present from Tyson for Gou's first birthday, and, to his horror, his son had taken to it like a moth to a flame, now he couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried.

Kai was positive Tyson'd just given the adoringly dubbed Mr. Fluffybutt to Gou as some form of torture. The idiot just worked like that.

'Want fishes Mommy!' Gou exclaimed rather loudly. 'Mr. Fwuffybutts want bugs!'

Julia made a _Sshh_ motion with her finger as a few people looked up slightly surprised. 'Not so loud Sweetheart...'

'Why Mommy?!' This time those few people turned to stare at their table. Kai sent them a death glare. 'Why?!'

'You're too loud Sweetheart.' Julia explained, gathering up the menus, and placing them on the side of the table. She shot her fiance an annoyed look. 'Kai, stop glaring at everyone.'

Gou frowned, setting his mouth into a grim line. 'Me too loud Mommy?'

More people glanced over at their table. Kai glared right back at them, ignoring his fiancee's order. 'For such a fancy resturaunt, yes you are."

The little boy looked dejected for a moment, then got what he thought was a smart idea, and pointed to his stuffed duck. 'It Mr. Fwuffybutt falt!'

Both grown-ups stared at the ugly stuffie in their son's arms. 'He make me be too loud!' Gou went on to explained, the bonked the duck's head. 'Bad Mr. Fwuffybutt! You too loud!'

This time, everyone turn to stare at the three-year-old bonking his ugly stuffed duck. Kai sent them all a death glare worthy of the Hiwatari name. Julia hit his arm. 'Stop it, Kai! And Gou, don't blame Mr. Fluffybutt for something you did.'

"Hn.' Was both their replies.

Their waitress chose this time to saunter over, and tapped Julia's shoulder. 'I'm sorry Miss, but you're family's disturbing the other customers, please leave.'

The father and son duo glared at the waitress. She blanched befores slowly backing away, looking a littel disturbed, if not completely scared.

Julia felt like banging her head off the table. _For all the times for Gou to act like Kai... It just HAS to be now..._

Gou jumped down from his chair, dragging Mr. Fluffybutt behind him, and grabbed his mother'swrist as Kai stood. 'Come Mommy!'

Julia glanced up at Kai who nodded. Sighing, she got up as well, and linked hands with both her boys._So much for a fancy supper..._ Maybe the movie would be better...

'Wanna see Winnie Pooh!'

Then again... Maybe not...

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Gah! Finally done! dies Sorry it's so short, i've got writer's block up the ying yang... T.T At least this is half decent I think...

Dong-Chun-Mei


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